False Authority

Growing up, I took my parents' word as law, thought they knew better than me, knew what to do in every situation. I listened to them when they told me which school to attend, which Church to go to, how to improve myself, to go to college first thing out of high school. However, the older I get, the more I realise they don't have a clue, and they were just guessing along the way.

More and more I realise that this is prevalent among anyone tasked with making decisions; they're often going off little more than guesses. Doctors listen to your symptoms, maybe take your blood pressure or listen to your heartbeat, and then make an educated guess about what's wrong with you. My grandmother was mis-diagnosed twice by doctors last year when she had a bowel infection. Mechanics tinker around, kick the tires, check your fluid levels, and then make a guess as to what's wrong with your car. I spent $90 at AAMCO (a transmission specialist mechanic chain) who told me I needed a new Catalytic Converter (a $150 part) for my car, when all I needed was more transmission fluid in my car ($20). More and more I find that people really have no clue what they're doing.

So how does this make you feel about becoming an adult? I always thought there would be some switch-over moment where I instantly knew what to do, and possessed the knowledge to act confidently in every situation I face. I admit imaging such a moment is silly, but now I find out that I'm always going to feel as confused and clueless as I do now, and it scares me.

Corollary to that, I realise now without any benchmarks to track my life by, finishing high school, finishing college, etc., that life isn't a series of stages where when one enters the next stage they will become someone new and completely different than they are now. Life is an endless string of days exactly like this one. Unless I make changes now, I'm going to feel the same and be the same person in the future that I am today.